bim bam bum
Coming back to consciousness was weird. He was in the weird state of mind that in his unconsciousness he had blissfully forgotten all about the conundrum and destitute situation that his current life was in and had lapsed into an odd but pleasurable alternate reality. But he was not in a canoe and there was no river of milk.
Jonas sat up and touched his forehead where a bump had now been added to his forehead. He winced and thought to himself that perhaps his obsession with milk was going a bit to far. Perhaps he had already lost his mind and the knock on the head had brought him back to his senses.
But ... he still wanted milk.
He stood up slowly in the dark store and looked around. There was no bum to be seen, he quickly checked himself for stab-wounds and sighed in relief.
It had become dark out, but he could see some light from outside the 7/Eleven and so he crawled out through the hole in the glass. Out there in the middle of the walking-street, was the bum, squatting in front of a little fire that was well under way. the bum looked over his shoulder and spotted Jonas, he did not seem to care and idly returned to stoking the fire.
Jonas stumbled a bit and took the hint, beginning to walk off down the road.
"HEY - where you think you going maybe?!" the bum's raspy voice rang out. Jonas turned.
"Home I think."
"How about you stay here - it dark now out here. Best to stay here to the morning." The bum said and waved him over. Jonas thought to himself that this bum probably had changed his mind while he had been unconscious and wanted the social company. "Yes and I think we both can use the company no?" The bum chimed in with Jonas's thoughts.
"Sure." Jonas said as he squatted opposite the bum, he was relieved not having to walk all the walk back and sure he could use the company of 'Mister Bum'.
"I used to be a doctor you know. Surgeon." The bum said unprovoked. Jonas nodded. "But then I found drugs you know - could not think man - so here I am. Sausage?" The bum handed him one with a dirty hand, Jonas was to tired to care and accepted it - it tasted fantastic. "You refused to leave huh yes? To the moon I mean."
"Delta." Jonas corrected. The bum frowned.
"What you say?!"
"Delta - it's Planet Delta they went to."
"Ah okay - Moon, Sun, Jupitar - big fucking difference - all fucking balls up there out in the big open. You refuse to go huh?"
"I overslept." Jonas answered - the bum froze half ways through sausage and stared at Jonas. Then a grin split his leathery face and four toothed smile was joined by a boisterous laughter that echoed all around, like a mob all laughing. He laughed so much he got the better half of a sausage stuck in his throat, coughed it up and returned to loudly chewing.
"And you - your still here too?" Jonas ventured.
"Ya, I knew not anything. I have a... you know... what the fuck it called... eeh træ-hus... you know house in the tree.."
"Yes! Fucking exactl. That's what it was - tree-house. I stay out there for long time, living naturally ecology and such you know and I one late night see big fire in heavens - and fuck I think - it's the rockets-"
"Space-Carriers." Jonas inserted.
"What?! Oh maybe - and these rockets are taken off and I think fuck - fuck you know. Rest is history - now I am king."
The bum chewed through another sausage and after punching his tattered bag a few times, he slid it under his head and seemed about to fall asleep.
Jonas sat silently, the world slowly coming back together for him, the pieces beginning to slide back into their correct places and the recent evens came back to plague him.
"Have you seen anybody else?" Jonas asked, the bum opened up his eyes annoyed.
"Have you seen anybody else, out here, alive I mean - like other than me?"
"Nah." The bum answered and attempted to close his eyes again, but Jonas was not just making small-talk.
"Just because, like, I saw this man drown himself today - and well he did not seem very sane."
"Man couldn't swim huh?"
"I don't know if I would call him a man..."
"Well, he was like really dirty and-" The bum sat up, clearly offended.
"I am really dirty! It's a choice! I don't let this society tell me what I am - I am me by choice and-"
"Not just dirty - that's not what I meant! Chill out - the world has ended but people are still offended... He was not just dirty, he was naked, and not to offend nudists if that is what you are too, he was running on all four and literally ran off the docks into the harbor, trying to get to me and like frickin' drowned immediately! Like if you were a sentient fucking human-being you would at least have known - 'Oh I can't swim.' and not just run straight into the damn water. Like he drowned! He did not even slightly surface - it was like seeing a stone drop into water - 'plop!' and it was gone!"
Somehow the bum was now seated right next to Jonas and had a hand on his shoulder, he stopped himself from shrugging it off as a reflex, it would not have been polite he figured, even if the bum smelled like days-old-piss.
"Hey man - I understand yes. Shit happens and you have seen it. It shall probably go." The bum said and took back his hand and moved back to his spot. Jonas did not feel he had been understood, but then again he was not sure he understood all that the bum was saying, his Danish accent thick and interspersed with periodic mumbling.
The bum closed his eyes.
"But did you understand that he was running on all four?" Jonas broke out, the bum opened his eyes and seemed about to start cursing when he seemed to regain control of himself and looked over at Jonas.
"All for what?"
"Like on all four - like running with his arms and legs?"
Jonas explained, the bum raised his eye-brows unimpressed.
"No, not jogging. Damn it - I'll show you." So Jonas stood up and demonstrated with difficulty how the man had been running using all four limbs.
"That the way he ran?" the bum asked.
"Yes! Like that!" Jonas exclaimed, relieved that he had gotten through to the man.
"Drugs." The bum stated confidently and closed his eyes again. Jonas stood silent - dismayed at the result of his efforts.
He did not sleep that night, not because he was thinking about the conundrum of having no milk - but because every time he fell asleep the crazed man running on all four would return to haunt him inside his own eye-lids.
As morning broke and the sun started to light up the city, he was still siting there. At first he thought the sound was in his weary head, but as it grew louder he stood up. It sounded like.... like a ... a Harley!
Join us next Saturday for Episode 7!
OUT OF MILK - THE STORY-BLOG
Come over here and waste your time with the story of one who survived the end of the world, only to find first-world problems were still problems. Join us on this quest for more milk.
"OUT OF MILK - THE BLOG-STORY" Copyright 2019 AMADREAS MEDIA.